Monday, April 11, 2011

Journal 29 - A Penultimate Thought before my closing Journal

I was looking through my journal entries before I write this last journal and I realized something--this experience may brake me of the my inconsistency with journal writing. I can't believe that this entire semester I've written about my experiences, concerns, and insights about field work and cultural experiences.

I'm convinced that the experiences that make you work the hardest are some of the most formative experiences of life--and I know that this experience will push me from every direction to learn and adapt, there doesn't seem to be a part of life it won't touch and I don't know how I'm going to handle it, but I know I'm excited about the lessons I'll learn.

I was thinking yesterday about some behaviors and attitudes in this experience that I would like to ensure I make a concerted effort to maintain throughout the trip. I was sitting in my Development class yesterday and Dave invited us to talk for 30 minutes or so about way's we'd changed because of the class. A girl mentioned something I had forgotten I'd learned when she said "I learned that we are the same as the people in these lesser developed countries, in fact they are dealing with challenges I don't think I could handle as well and know more about their situation than I will ever understand." I recognized that she was talking about the foreigner's tendency to misunderstand and misinterpret the behaviors and attitudes of the people in developing situations. I understand that because of the Preparation course, the Twi course I've taken and this Development class, I've learned in numerous classes and lectures and experiences the tendency I have to do the same and the error in that tendency. I know it will have a negative impact on relationships and maybe on the continuity of program if I adopt that attitude at some point in the field, and one of my major goals is to avoid slipping back into that attitude or to correct myself when I identify that I'm adopting that attitude again. I don't have the answers to their questions and challenges, I don't have a superior mind or way of life, I don't know so many things that they know, we are different but equals that can grow form associating with and understanding each other. My hope is that I can learn to have that attitude and mean it for the rest of my life. They aren't superior, inferior, better or worse--just different and sorting life out.

Another goal I have is to gain a hands on experience with development. I don't want to overwhelm myself, I want to keep up a journal and write about all I notice, specifically about development issues every few days. Maybe every Monday, Wednesday and Friday... :) I feel like keeping a journal about development challenges will help me fulfill the purpose of this trip for me. I'll have thoughts and experiences I've documented and can build on and keep for my life. These journals will play a part in my research, my courses and my final project. If I document anything, I want to document these things because understanding and having experience within the field of Development is a major reason I decided to go on a field study.

Finally, I hope that I can begin to really understand the culture, values and needs of the people in Wiamoase. A challenge within my study is that as an outsider, I'm trying to note with observation and questions (that I don't know how to phrase or focus) about another community's culture. I know Ashley said she's experienced some success in places she's gone, and I would love to talk with her once again before I leave about how she approached this, how she came to understand their culture, and what pitfalls I can avoid in this attempt. I've never explored such a foreign culture before in such a short amount of time, and I hope that I can find success in this goal.

That's all my major goals for this experience.

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